《相思成灾》里最爱的一段话：

59'

Relationships are best measured by farting.
Stage 1 is the conspiracy of silence.
This is a fantasy period where both parties pretend that they have no bodily waste.
This illusion is very quickly shattered by that first shy
"ooh,did you fart?"followed by the sheepish admission of truth.
This heralds a period of deeper intimacy.A period I like to call the "fart honeymoon",
where both parties find each other's gas just the cutest thing in the world.
But of course no honeymoon can last forever,
so we reach the critical fork in the fart.
Either the fart loses its power to amuse and embarrass,
thereby signifying ture love ，
or else,
it begins to annoy and disgust,
thereby symbolizing all that is blocked and rancid in the formerly beloved.
——《Love and Other Disasters》

判断恋人关系最好的方法是通过放屁。
第一阶段，是心有灵犀的沉默。
这是一个幻想彼此都是从来不放屁的阶段。
这种幻想当然很快就会被一方
“噢，你放屁啦？”击碎。
然后只能害羞承认。
这预示着双方进入更亲密的阶段，
我称之为“屁的蜜月”。
双方开始觉得对方的屁
是世界上最可爱的东西。
当然蜜月总会结束，
而这个屁也走到了它的分歧点。
要么它不再让对方感觉可爱或尴尬，
从而象征着真爱。
又或者，它开始让人觉得厌烦恶心，
这就说明你们的爱在上一段关系中
憋成了一个真正的屁。